"pen tops, you know, for lunch at your desk. your sad, sad lunch alone at your desk with your pen fork. your liberated breakfast at your desk BECAUSE YOU EFFING WORK AT HOME. Nothin' like being able to work in your pajamas.
transferring image to wood: cut wax paper to size of printer paper, put through printer with guidance, place ink side down on contrasting wood, push ink into wood using the edge of a card - use muscle, gently lift and seal.