The Knowledge Project #71 — Esther Perel
Behind every criticism is a wish. If I say “I wish,” I have to put myself out there. It means I want something and I can be refused. I can be rejected. I can be not heard. And in a relationship that is not secure, I will defend against that. I don’t want to show you that side of me. So instead of saying what I want, I’ll say what you didn’t do. That’s the criticism. What you didn’t do and what’s wrong with you is safer, in some bizarre way, than to tell you what is special about me and what…
Recalibration Protocol - M | The Couples Clinic
Recalibration Protocol (I have a male partner) 1. CHOOSE (Which way are you going to go?) Which of the following things is most important to you right now? Getting your partner to realize that his thinking or actions are (or were) out of line, or Getting your partner to care about your feelings, seriously consider... Read More
Grieving for What We Never Had in Less Than Ideal Families. | Rebelle Society
Grieving is not about blaming, but simply an acknowledging the tragic nature of events. If anger comes up in this process, we shall honor that too.
Manage Conflict: The Aftermath of a Fight
In the aftermath of a fight or regrettable incident, you can use the following format to increase understanding between you and your partner.
22 Questions to Reignite Love -
Occasionally, our relationships need to get re-started. We love one another but a lot has accumulated that we haven’t properly dealt with. Certain things haven’t been said, resentments may have built up, playfulness has been neglected and there is a lot we should – but haven’t found the words – to express. So we’ve drawn...
Interdependence Is the Tie That Binds -
Stan Tatkin teaches that the ground-level purpose for pair bonding, other than procreation, is survival—two people bound together by a mutual interest to be safe and secure in the world. Also, he says, you should think of yourselves as being sweethearts.
086: Martha Kauppi on Working with Open Relationships | Shane Birkel | The Couples Therapist Couch
There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of …